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wtf_hollowSo.... found this ol' thing. I thought it would take some work to bring it to a point at which it could be posted, but then discovered that Past Me had already handled that. What's more, Past Me was wicked enough to leave it open-ended, so feel free to jump in if your spirit is so moved.
He's passed this shop a thousand times, Tezuka thinks as he squints against the chilling wind, but he's never really seen it before. Not like this. Not with the elegant gate, or the oriental architecture, or the sliding doors. Not with that odd fellow, Watanuki, standing on the porch of the curio shop with this arms crossed, giving him the most peculiar look.
“Well?” Watanuki finally prompts, cocking his head and continuing to stare at him. “Would you like to come in?”
Tezuka frowns; it's not polite, but he can't help himself. He's heard the rumors, but it's all ridiculous. Granting wishes... He's seen sideshow mystics and gypsies and other itinerant charlatans, and doesn't doubt that this is another in that line. His mouth opens to decline the invitation, but what inexplicably comes out is, “Thank you.”
He blinks, surprised with himself, but Watanuki gives him a warm smile and nods. “Please join Miss Yuuko,” he says, indicating the door. “I'll make some tea and snacks.”
There's nothing he can do at this point but pass through those gates and up to the door. Watanuki smiles again, and it's more than a little strange to see him pleasant and human and not ranting or silently sullen. The gawky young man slides the door aside and bows him in and he reluctantly enters the curio shop, more than a little perplexed as to why he has let himself be talked into this. He's a realist, not at all prone to flights of fancy or supposition, but when his foot passes across the threshold Tezuka could swear he feels it through every bone.
Miss Yuuko herself is no less shocking. As tall as he is, elegant as an orchid and dressed in glistening black silk adorned with flights of pale pink swallows, and smoking from a long, silver pipe. She doesn't rise from the couch she reclines upon as he enters the room, but inclines her head languidly in his direction. “Welcome to my shop,” she says, a warm purr in her voice. “Please, sit down.”
He does so, hesitantly, uncomfortable in the rich yet austere surroundings; teak and ebony, sandalwood polished to a high finish. His rough scarf itches around his neck but Tezuka ignores it, trying not appear ill at ease. He hasn't seen a house half so fine in his entire life, and compared to the drafty, barren apartment he shares with Fuji... well, it just doesn't compare. It so enormously doesn't compare that he may as well be on the moon as in such a place.
But he's collected enough to remember his manners, rational enough that smalltalk is still possible. Not that Miss Yuuko seems one for such a convention. She lets him ramble, listening with a polite smile on her face, then out of the blue comments, “The winter has been especially cold, hasn't it?”
The weather is also acceptable conversation between strangers. However, her ability to segue topics is clearly lacking. “Coldest I can recall,” he replies and she nods understandingly.
“How has your friend been doing?”
The question surprises him, and for a moment he fumbles for words. Miss Yuuko just watches him with sly, dark eyes, and he reminds himself this is how fortune tellers work. Trick you into giving away hints and details about your life, enough that they know what to ask. It's all a sham, a joke.
But at the same time, he can't help but think of Fuji, as he left him that morning. Depression was taking its toll; wrapped in multiple layers of worn clothes, and tucked under the thin blanket of their bed, Fuji had barely stirred when Tezuka said he was leaving. His blue eyes were vacant, staring at the wall as though seeing something far past it. He looked like a child, or a doll, his baggy, fraying clothes too large for a frame that was wasted with hunger. The last time Tezuka had seen him naked, his bones had appeared bird-frail beneath translucent skin, shoulderblades standing out like stunted wings and mirrored below by the rising jut of his hipbones, while between them his ribs rose like stairsteps.
But he isn't about to tell a complete stranger these kinds of things, and instead lets his face slip back to blank calm. “He's fine, thank you.”
She gives him a commiserating smile, slow and certain, then abruptly shrugs with complete nonchalance. “Having a friend like yours is nothing to be embarrassed about,” she says, her voice gone from coolly polite to teasing, and a short laugh trills from her. “Even Watanuki has a special friend. You should introduce our guest to Doumeki, don't you think?”
The last sentence is directed off to the side, and Watanuki himself comes in, bearing a tray of hors d'oeuvres and bristling to the point of appearing staticky. “That Doumeki is nothing special!” he growls, somehow managing to set the tray down gently while otherwise flushing bright red and flailing his aggravation at the woman. “And I wouldn't bother anyone with an introduction to that rude lout.” The sight actually reassures Tezuka; the serene Watanuki he'd met on the porch was so different from the spastic young man he'd known that he'd seemed like another person altogether. This, at least, is familiar.
And perhaps that is the point; Tezuka catches Yuuko's satisfied little smirk as she meets his eyes, and quickly takes a sip of the tea Watanuki's just brought them. He doesn't want to feel comfortable here, he's not even sure why he's here at all. But he's only too happy to oblige when the shop's mistress insists that he try the tiny tarts that have been prepared for them, his empty, neglected stomach rumbling with delight at the treat. They are surprisingly delicious; light pastry cooked to flaky perfection, the fruit confection within still warm from the oven. Fuji used to make similar things, and Tezuka frowns over his second bite, knowing full well that Watanuki couldn't have just whipped these up at his arrival.
“I hope I didn't disturb you,” he finally says, indicating the tray. “You seem as though you were expecting company.”
Something seems to pass over Miss Yuuko's face, something altogether too canny for Tezuka's tastes. “We were,” she says simply, sitting up straight. “And now you're here.”
Was she implying...? “I didn't have any intentions of coming here today,” Tezuka begins, and she nods as though she understands completely.
“And yet here you are. As you wanted to be.”
He sets his teacup down, wondering now if Miss Yuuko isn't eccentric so much as insane. “I've never had any desire to come to your shop before,” he explains, hoping that he's doing so politely enough so as not to cause offense. “The rumors I've heard... forgive me if I say that I don't quite believe them.”
Behind him, Watanuki scoffs softly, but silences at the quelling look Yuuko shoots him. “You didn't intend to come here,” she reiterates, fixing her attention wholly on Tezuka once more, “and you don't believe in my trade, and yet-” The smile on her face is far too knowing. “- here you sit. Call it hitsuzen, or destiny, or fate, you are here because you have a wish. You could not be here, otherwise.”
“A shop that grants wishes.” He says it flatly, unimpressed. “I'm surprised you don't have people lined up down the block, if that's the case.”
Yuuko looks pensive. “Most people only want things frivolously. They call it wishing, but it's more of a daydream, a what-if. The people who come to see me are different. They need things, desire them deeply enough to seek me out and those wishes, I grant, so long as the price is met.”
“Then I'm afraid I don't belong here,” Tezuka tells her quietly. “I don't have a wish, and even if I did, I don't have any money. What little I have is all that's keeping a roof over my head, and a little food on the table.” Truth be told, it's barely doing that; he's behind on their rent payment, and they haven't had a real meal in days. And even if he had enough to spare, he wouldn't spend it here. If you worked hard, your wishes came true; if they didn't, you worked harder until they did. He doesn't believe in things like magic. He can't afford to.
“Money doesn't buy wishes.” Miss Yuuko raises an admonishing finger at him. “Currency never buys anything of real importance.”
“I don't have a wish,” he insists.
Yuuko smiles that damnably smug smile of hers. Smoke from her pipe twisting about her head like a snake, she says, “You can see my shop. You can pass through its door. If you didn't have a wish, that would be impossible.”
He's nearly discomfited enough to leave, but she gestures again at the snack tray. “Please, have some more,” she urges, and his hunger is enough to overrule his sense. The second tart is as good as the first, and again he thinks of Fuji's talent in the kitchen, his love of baking. And he thinks of the storm of recipe cards, fluttering into the fire like brittle little snowflakes, the pain in his hands as he swept them to safety.
“My friend used to bake like this,” he remarks to no one in particular, lost in his thoughts and not really even aware that he's speaking aloud.
Watanuki makes an indignant sound, but Yuuko's face takes on that sober look again. “Did he?” she murmurs.
Memory overtakes him, of Fuji baking, Fuji smiling, Fuji happy... Swallowing hard against the pain that rises, Tezuka shakes his head. “He loved it. More than anything else.”
Yuuko says nothing more, only sips her tea and watches him with imperturbable eyes.
Enjoying the treats Watanuki has provided suddenly feels like a betrayal. Pushing his plate away, Tezuka finds himself blurting, “I want him to have that again. That joy. It's beyond my means, but I'd do anything...” Realization of what he's saying clamps his jaw shut, furious, but the damage is done. The shopkeeper is nodding her head as though it's the most natural thing, and even Watanuki looks at him with understanding on his face, and Tezuka hates them for tricking this out of him, making him give up his secrets which are the only thing he has any longer.
“I have to go,” he says abruptly, pushing himself to his feet and waiting for the inevitable calls at his back, urging him to stop, but they don't come. Only the icy bite of the wind hitting his face as he rushes through the door, sliding through the slush lining the sidewalk as he finally makes it to the street. He cannot say he expects pursuit, but when Tezuka glances behind him he sees only the graceful line of the gates, the odd carved moons topping them, and the hurt that goes through him is altogether unexpected.
~*~
BTW, All I know is that the end result of Tezuka's wish was the separation of he and Fuji, and the price was nothing so linear as 'to survive you must abandon your lover'. But their relationship, ultimately, was the cost of not simply their survival but their thriving (Yuuko must have been feeling charitable, since survival at the cost of love- or very least, deep affection- is kinda awful). I was never able to quite define what that price would be, however, and don't really know the rules of the Holicverse to be sure if I'm doing it right anyway. And I know, I know- those rules don't necessarily apply here, but I still like the idea of Yuuko's price being a cruel double-edged sword, but subtly so.
I played with a lot of ideas along these lines, and sometimes Tezuka was aware that separation would be inevitable, and in others it was a shock he realized later. In most of them, he seems to think that their continued fortunes depended on remaining apart, nevermind that Yuuko didn't stipulate that. I have no idea if he is correct or not.
Anyway, have fun with this! HA!
He's passed this shop a thousand times, Tezuka thinks as he squints against the chilling wind, but he's never really seen it before. Not like this. Not with the elegant gate, or the oriental architecture, or the sliding doors. Not with that odd fellow, Watanuki, standing on the porch of the curio shop with this arms crossed, giving him the most peculiar look.
“Well?” Watanuki finally prompts, cocking his head and continuing to stare at him. “Would you like to come in?”
Tezuka frowns; it's not polite, but he can't help himself. He's heard the rumors, but it's all ridiculous. Granting wishes... He's seen sideshow mystics and gypsies and other itinerant charlatans, and doesn't doubt that this is another in that line. His mouth opens to decline the invitation, but what inexplicably comes out is, “Thank you.”
He blinks, surprised with himself, but Watanuki gives him a warm smile and nods. “Please join Miss Yuuko,” he says, indicating the door. “I'll make some tea and snacks.”
There's nothing he can do at this point but pass through those gates and up to the door. Watanuki smiles again, and it's more than a little strange to see him pleasant and human and not ranting or silently sullen. The gawky young man slides the door aside and bows him in and he reluctantly enters the curio shop, more than a little perplexed as to why he has let himself be talked into this. He's a realist, not at all prone to flights of fancy or supposition, but when his foot passes across the threshold Tezuka could swear he feels it through every bone.
Miss Yuuko herself is no less shocking. As tall as he is, elegant as an orchid and dressed in glistening black silk adorned with flights of pale pink swallows, and smoking from a long, silver pipe. She doesn't rise from the couch she reclines upon as he enters the room, but inclines her head languidly in his direction. “Welcome to my shop,” she says, a warm purr in her voice. “Please, sit down.”
He does so, hesitantly, uncomfortable in the rich yet austere surroundings; teak and ebony, sandalwood polished to a high finish. His rough scarf itches around his neck but Tezuka ignores it, trying not appear ill at ease. He hasn't seen a house half so fine in his entire life, and compared to the drafty, barren apartment he shares with Fuji... well, it just doesn't compare. It so enormously doesn't compare that he may as well be on the moon as in such a place.
But he's collected enough to remember his manners, rational enough that smalltalk is still possible. Not that Miss Yuuko seems one for such a convention. She lets him ramble, listening with a polite smile on her face, then out of the blue comments, “The winter has been especially cold, hasn't it?”
The weather is also acceptable conversation between strangers. However, her ability to segue topics is clearly lacking. “Coldest I can recall,” he replies and she nods understandingly.
“How has your friend been doing?”
The question surprises him, and for a moment he fumbles for words. Miss Yuuko just watches him with sly, dark eyes, and he reminds himself this is how fortune tellers work. Trick you into giving away hints and details about your life, enough that they know what to ask. It's all a sham, a joke.
But at the same time, he can't help but think of Fuji, as he left him that morning. Depression was taking its toll; wrapped in multiple layers of worn clothes, and tucked under the thin blanket of their bed, Fuji had barely stirred when Tezuka said he was leaving. His blue eyes were vacant, staring at the wall as though seeing something far past it. He looked like a child, or a doll, his baggy, fraying clothes too large for a frame that was wasted with hunger. The last time Tezuka had seen him naked, his bones had appeared bird-frail beneath translucent skin, shoulderblades standing out like stunted wings and mirrored below by the rising jut of his hipbones, while between them his ribs rose like stairsteps.
But he isn't about to tell a complete stranger these kinds of things, and instead lets his face slip back to blank calm. “He's fine, thank you.”
She gives him a commiserating smile, slow and certain, then abruptly shrugs with complete nonchalance. “Having a friend like yours is nothing to be embarrassed about,” she says, her voice gone from coolly polite to teasing, and a short laugh trills from her. “Even Watanuki has a special friend. You should introduce our guest to Doumeki, don't you think?”
The last sentence is directed off to the side, and Watanuki himself comes in, bearing a tray of hors d'oeuvres and bristling to the point of appearing staticky. “That Doumeki is nothing special!” he growls, somehow managing to set the tray down gently while otherwise flushing bright red and flailing his aggravation at the woman. “And I wouldn't bother anyone with an introduction to that rude lout.” The sight actually reassures Tezuka; the serene Watanuki he'd met on the porch was so different from the spastic young man he'd known that he'd seemed like another person altogether. This, at least, is familiar.
And perhaps that is the point; Tezuka catches Yuuko's satisfied little smirk as she meets his eyes, and quickly takes a sip of the tea Watanuki's just brought them. He doesn't want to feel comfortable here, he's not even sure why he's here at all. But he's only too happy to oblige when the shop's mistress insists that he try the tiny tarts that have been prepared for them, his empty, neglected stomach rumbling with delight at the treat. They are surprisingly delicious; light pastry cooked to flaky perfection, the fruit confection within still warm from the oven. Fuji used to make similar things, and Tezuka frowns over his second bite, knowing full well that Watanuki couldn't have just whipped these up at his arrival.
“I hope I didn't disturb you,” he finally says, indicating the tray. “You seem as though you were expecting company.”
Something seems to pass over Miss Yuuko's face, something altogether too canny for Tezuka's tastes. “We were,” she says simply, sitting up straight. “And now you're here.”
Was she implying...? “I didn't have any intentions of coming here today,” Tezuka begins, and she nods as though she understands completely.
“And yet here you are. As you wanted to be.”
He sets his teacup down, wondering now if Miss Yuuko isn't eccentric so much as insane. “I've never had any desire to come to your shop before,” he explains, hoping that he's doing so politely enough so as not to cause offense. “The rumors I've heard... forgive me if I say that I don't quite believe them.”
Behind him, Watanuki scoffs softly, but silences at the quelling look Yuuko shoots him. “You didn't intend to come here,” she reiterates, fixing her attention wholly on Tezuka once more, “and you don't believe in my trade, and yet-” The smile on her face is far too knowing. “- here you sit. Call it hitsuzen, or destiny, or fate, you are here because you have a wish. You could not be here, otherwise.”
“A shop that grants wishes.” He says it flatly, unimpressed. “I'm surprised you don't have people lined up down the block, if that's the case.”
Yuuko looks pensive. “Most people only want things frivolously. They call it wishing, but it's more of a daydream, a what-if. The people who come to see me are different. They need things, desire them deeply enough to seek me out and those wishes, I grant, so long as the price is met.”
“Then I'm afraid I don't belong here,” Tezuka tells her quietly. “I don't have a wish, and even if I did, I don't have any money. What little I have is all that's keeping a roof over my head, and a little food on the table.” Truth be told, it's barely doing that; he's behind on their rent payment, and they haven't had a real meal in days. And even if he had enough to spare, he wouldn't spend it here. If you worked hard, your wishes came true; if they didn't, you worked harder until they did. He doesn't believe in things like magic. He can't afford to.
“Money doesn't buy wishes.” Miss Yuuko raises an admonishing finger at him. “Currency never buys anything of real importance.”
“I don't have a wish,” he insists.
Yuuko smiles that damnably smug smile of hers. Smoke from her pipe twisting about her head like a snake, she says, “You can see my shop. You can pass through its door. If you didn't have a wish, that would be impossible.”
He's nearly discomfited enough to leave, but she gestures again at the snack tray. “Please, have some more,” she urges, and his hunger is enough to overrule his sense. The second tart is as good as the first, and again he thinks of Fuji's talent in the kitchen, his love of baking. And he thinks of the storm of recipe cards, fluttering into the fire like brittle little snowflakes, the pain in his hands as he swept them to safety.
“My friend used to bake like this,” he remarks to no one in particular, lost in his thoughts and not really even aware that he's speaking aloud.
Watanuki makes an indignant sound, but Yuuko's face takes on that sober look again. “Did he?” she murmurs.
Memory overtakes him, of Fuji baking, Fuji smiling, Fuji happy... Swallowing hard against the pain that rises, Tezuka shakes his head. “He loved it. More than anything else.”
Yuuko says nothing more, only sips her tea and watches him with imperturbable eyes.
Enjoying the treats Watanuki has provided suddenly feels like a betrayal. Pushing his plate away, Tezuka finds himself blurting, “I want him to have that again. That joy. It's beyond my means, but I'd do anything...” Realization of what he's saying clamps his jaw shut, furious, but the damage is done. The shopkeeper is nodding her head as though it's the most natural thing, and even Watanuki looks at him with understanding on his face, and Tezuka hates them for tricking this out of him, making him give up his secrets which are the only thing he has any longer.
“I have to go,” he says abruptly, pushing himself to his feet and waiting for the inevitable calls at his back, urging him to stop, but they don't come. Only the icy bite of the wind hitting his face as he rushes through the door, sliding through the slush lining the sidewalk as he finally makes it to the street. He cannot say he expects pursuit, but when Tezuka glances behind him he sees only the graceful line of the gates, the odd carved moons topping them, and the hurt that goes through him is altogether unexpected.
BTW, All I know is that the end result of Tezuka's wish was the separation of he and Fuji, and the price was nothing so linear as 'to survive you must abandon your lover'. But their relationship, ultimately, was the cost of not simply their survival but their thriving (Yuuko must have been feeling charitable, since survival at the cost of love- or very least, deep affection- is kinda awful). I was never able to quite define what that price would be, however, and don't really know the rules of the Holicverse to be sure if I'm doing it right anyway. And I know, I know- those rules don't necessarily apply here, but I still like the idea of Yuuko's price being a cruel double-edged sword, but subtly so.
I played with a lot of ideas along these lines, and sometimes Tezuka was aware that separation would be inevitable, and in others it was a shock he realized later. In most of them, he seems to think that their continued fortunes depended on remaining apart, nevermind that Yuuko didn't stipulate that. I have no idea if he is correct or not.
Anyway, have fun with this! HA!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-20 04:39 am (UTC)Ah, and before I forget. That post with Ed and Roy digging through Hoho's trunks up in the attic, and what you mentioned about the paragraph breaks? Yeeeah. It took me a sec, but then I remembered all the caterwauling I did every time I posted an FB note, how it always fucked up my line spacing and drove me bonkers.
I think for the time being, I'm over it. Yeah, the paragraph spacing is eccentric, but it doesn't impinge on the logic flow or readability any, so I'm making the executive decision to Just Not Be That Fussed about it.
On to matters pertaining to this post. I vaguely recall us discussing the possibility that Tezuka made A Deal of some kind with Yuuko. And I really like how you ran with that. The idea, that people with wishes see Yuuko in a very different kind of shop than the average public, is very cool (back in the stone-age, I remember kicking around the notion that Yuuko lives in an apartment above a very ordinary curio shop that sees very few visitors. The idea that some hard-up folks may occasionally slip in discreetly to pawn items, is also an interesting side-possibility.)
And of course it's right, that Tezuka comes in here as a strict rationalist who believes in hard work above all. The powers of folklore and mythology love fucking with people who think they rely solely on rationalism. Those people are so wrapped up in self-reliance and self-denial, that they never see the biggest gap in their armor: unspoken desire. The things they want, that they refuse to admit to themselves. And the longer these people refuse to come to terms with certain kinds of desires, the stronger those desires become, until they are practically an independent entity in themselves.
I'm not sure whether this will make sense, but I feel convinced that it was Tezuka's desire--independent of him, or his conscious feelings--that triggered the shop's appearance. It reached out all on its own, into the threads of Fate and future events, lending itself to a whole new section of tapestry that would reach out far beyond Tezuka himself. It would propel Fuji's fate, bringing him to a place and time where he could affect Mitsukuni's life, Momo's life, and quite likely save the lives of Arai and Roy. Who themselves would go on to change the lives of still other people. Morinozuka and Bucky, and Ed and Al.
Of course part of the Shop's purpose, and Yuuko's purpose, is to spot these eventualities, and to nudge the right threads into place, so that these sort of complex connections can be made. That's why the Shop manifests to certain people, I think. The potential energy of fates preparing to make a connection are what bring it into being, in certain cases.
Granted, all that theory is well and good, but I'm a bit stumped on how exactly Tezuka's transaction will manifest. We can assume it's going to follow the standard flavor of transactions in myth and folklore; those stories survive for a reason. Just off the top of my head, I'm tempted to draw a parallel of Fuji and Tezuka with the story of Tanabata--the weaver and the cowherd, who were separated by the Milky Way on the gods' decree. But that doesn't give me any helpful details to run with.
Another idea is....y'know that cliche saying that nobody ever really likes to hear, "when God closes a window, He opens a door", or whatever? What if you invert that mechanism?
Like, here Fuji and Tezuka are, in this hopeless, totally stagnant situation. They're together, but they're broke, they can't work, they can't find any way to make progress or improve their lot. Basically they're on a raft out on a becalmed sea, going nowhere and starving to death. They won't be able to make anything different happen, without some kind of drastic action. One of them has to close the window, before the door will open.
Maybe the window is a metaphor to their situation: the pie-in-the-sky dreams they've had, which they have no way of realizing. They have to sacrifice all their mooning out the window at a make-believe future, before they can properly take control of their present lives.
Okay, so far so good I think. But what does the nuts and bolts of that look like? There's got to be some symbolic token of sacrifice that Tezuka has to make to the shop, to get his wish (which is presumably something on the lines of Fuji getting an opportunity to prosper instead of starving to death). And there's also got to be some precipitating event that splits them up, and gets Fuji on whatever path it is that will lead to his present circumstances in the story.
Which leads us to the 2 questions that will solve the whole thing. I'll toss out a couple possible answers, but feel free to riff out a whole list to see what ideas grabs you:
1) What does Tezuka have, that he could trade off to make a difference in their situation?
(maybe he's a Master's student with just enough money for school. Maybe he's living on a family stipend; he could give that money to Fuji, then go back home to live with his family across the country, for awhile.)
2) How does Fuji get from this place with Tezuka, to running Haninozuka's bakery? How did he ever cross paths with Haninozuka? (Maybe it was Tezuka's college money that got Fuji into a specialized culinary school, or live-in apprenticeship?)
Lastly, fwiw, I don't see any reason they have to stay apart forever. I can definitely see Tezuka harboring this mistaken belief that he would just hold Fuji back from a brilliant future full of fame and accolades etc. But I like to think the day will come, when Fuji can convince him that they've both grown and made secure places for themselves in the world, that they don't have to be afraid of falling back into that bad past situation again. And I've got a strong feeling that something they both learn from other characters in the story (via encouragement and example), will help bring them back together again.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 01:49 am (UTC)I can't even tell you how many times I turned this over and over, twisted it this way and that and even hung it upside down. Just can't sort it out. Even now, after a break (which is usually sufficient to clear through any ideas that seem to cling, regardless of whether they're useful or not), I keep falling back to the same concepts. It's so frustrating, because I really want to see the end of this chapter.
Oh! But speaking of chapters! After rereading the early bits of Adventures on AO3, it struck me that we set something up right out of the gate that we have never once returned to. Remember Arai and Roy's first day at the bakery, when they get hustled into the storeroom while Fuji deals with some unsavory person who shows up in a car out front? Leading, of course, to Momo's first round of boxing with the dumpster out back. Did we ever have any intentions on that, do you recall, or was it just a thing thrown out there to see if it had any legs?
Maybe it was part of the gangster scene that Ed had to pay off, for his schooling and Al's treatment etc (I remember we had talked about his and Al's backstory, at one point). Or maybe they have something to do with the Ootori speakeasy- rivals, perhaps? Both of those things are storylines I'd love to delve back into at some point, as they have massive potential. Likewise, getting to finally see Arai and Roy accompanying Ed and Al to the Haninozuka estate for their lesson with Mori. That one, I have very clear mental pictures of in my head. Roy gets to have fun, there.
Damn, there are so many threads to follow in this story! It's honestly one of the best things about this universe, I think; the fact that it is an entire town's worth of tales, of events and arcs and gah. So much stuff to think about!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 03:36 am (UTC)Educated instinct is telling me this is a case of Insufficient Data stuckness. We don't yet have the right info about Tezuka, his relationship to Fuji, or Fuji's path leading up to the present story, in order to fill in this missing blank in their joined backstory.
I've run into this exact problem plenty of times, and typically I've found two good ways of turning over stones in the story to find the right clues.
1) Try writing around the thing you don't know. Explore what comes before the blank spot, and what comes after it. Either in ficlets, or freewrite sketches not meant for the published canon, or outtakes. Also yammering it out in brainstorms can help, or making ridiculous lists of all the things the answer might be, or all the things it definitely is not. In the freewrite arena, you can try finding some music that catches the mood of this part of the story, crank it up and just start scribbling like crazy.
2) If you have a lot of material written about the characters already, try combing back through it, to see what jumps out at you. Look at their dialogue, look at their actions for possible metaphors that might thematically match what you're trying to locate.
I've got a pretty good practical example I can show you, from the incredibly bothersome wall I hit at the climax of Fox Country, which took me nine goddamn years to sort out.
That bit that's in Ep2, Ch. 51 here, where Mori finally gives Makoto his name, it never sat right with me. There was something that nagged me like a hangnail in there, and it threw the whole ending of the story out of whack. It took me 4 years of the thing being stuck in the AO3 posting, before I finally decided that Ep 2 had to end with that resolution of Makoto's Name, that was the crucial thing the whole story had been building to, and in order for Ep2 to have a proper satisfying shape, I had to cut out any further hijinks, and cart them off to be addressed in a whole other story.
But even with that decided, the Naming Scene still bugged the shit out of me. I hadn't done it right, I could feel that at a gut level, but couldn't understand why. All I knew, was the original version of the scene was not pulling the weight that a story-ending climax needed to. It didn't wrap up enough threads, it didn't satisfy enough conditions that the story had laid down.
While I was figuring this out, I was studying writing at the feet of some novel authors who understand very well what the job of a story protagonist is, and what needs to happen to them, in order to make a good story. And among those many things, two stood out prominently to me, with respect to Mori.
1) In a long-form story, a good protagonist (or Main Character, if you prefer) has to undergo significant change.
2) To make a story cohesive and satisfying, you have to fulfill the promises that you've made to the reader, in the story's premise, and through the course of the story. These promises might be very subtle, they might be merely implied. You might not even realize you've made them, in the course of writing.(that's what editing is for, discovering all the places you accidentally surprise yourself, breadcrumbs you accidentally dropped without realizing)
It took me a lot of time, a lot of re-reading and re-drafting, and despair and wailing and giving up in defeat, before the damn light finally switched on in my head, and I understood. It also took--funny enough--a bunch of darling readers of the story hollering at Mori in the comments every other chapter, like, "JFC MORI YOU DUMB GAY, give that boy A NAME, I STG."
And that's when I finally got it. I finally started asking the right questions of this story. Why doesn't Mori give Makoto his name for 50-some chapters? Well, we know that he doesn't feel it's his right, that's easy.
But there's something else, too: we know that names are powerful magic, in this world. And if you're gonna give someone a name that's going to save their life and keep them in the world, it's got to be a little more complicated than just hopping down to the courthouse or the DMV and filling out some forms. There's got to be magic embedded in the process. There's got to be some measure of ritual.
And what's one of the key elements you think of, when you think of a ritual?
The old-school classic: sacrifice. Or if you like, Exchange. What's another part of an exchange process? Bargaining.
So there I am, combing back through the story to figure out what Mori's Journey is supposed to be about, and how I'm supposed to close the circle on how he's changed through this story, and guess what I come across. Waaay back early in the story, when he's talking to Arai the Grocer about melons, and Mori's internal narration happens to mention how much he dislikes Bargaining. Then I notice how that comes up over and over in the story, Mori is constantly evading bargains.
But then by the end of the story, he's got this person who's so important to him that he'll do anything for them, he'll give anything at all to keep them in the world. So what does he have to do? He has to give up this aversion to bargaining. He has to make that sacrifice on behalf of this person who's changed his life. He has to finish the process that started on that bridge in the Southern Capitol the day he escaped execution, and completely relinquish the person he used to be, once and for all.
Part of the magic that gives Makoto his Name, and anchors him to the world, comes about with Mori laying down his skepticism, humbling himself, bargaining with the universe and ultimately sacrificing his own name (I'm not sure readers have cottoned onto that yet, but that's ok), and his whole past identity. The name Morinozuka will vanish from the world, just like Makoto's former name did. In exchange, he and Makoto will be anchored equally to this world, with a new name.
Sorry about that massive digression, but hopefully it gives you some idea of the kind of clue-hunting it takes, to find these answers to the blank spots in the story. Sometimes you have to comb through the text with a magnifying glass to find the thing that fits the right niche. Or devote time to getting a broad enough view of the characters' lives, that the patterns start to emerge; the tics and foibles and strengths and weak spots. Those are the threads that the story-cloth is made from.
Although sometimes you also just get lucky, and the answer pops straight out of your subconscious. Maybe bring the basement guys a box of quality donuts, and see if they might slip you a hint? Give that space in your head the kind of food and exercise it likes, and it'll throw all kinds of mad stuff at you.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 03:51 am (UTC)You could totally get away with not knowing exactly how Tezuka's sacrifice goes down, for quite awhile.
What you do is, let it happen off-stage, in the dark.
What we get in the text, is all his experience leading up to this Unknown Thing, a fade to black, and then pick back up in the Stricken Aftermath. Make it all about the fallout from the unmentionable event, make it about the consequences, and just let the audience lose their goddamn minds for awhile wondering what the hell happened. This can be so massively effective, dude. Curiosity is a such a powerful tool, for keeping people invested in a story.
And then by and by, we get around to the process of reconciliation between Tezuka and Fuji, some years later. In the steps of that process, I bet anything that clues to the Unknown Event just start trickling out. Because the more you fill in the shapes around negative space, the more detailed that negative space becomes, until eventually it becomes something recognizable.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 01:27 pm (UTC)There are a million ways to pick that scene up, without ever explaining, and all of them are filled with heavy grey skies and dirty snow, and I love it to pieces. Yep, it's all sensory shit, but there's so much of it, reflecting the desolation in Tezuka's soul and Fuji's heartbreak. I can see Tezuka trudging down the road after visiting the shop, head down, hands fisted in his pockets with his nails digging into his palms until they bleed. The wind is swirling, and it tastes like snow and ashes, and Tezuka is blind to nearly everything around him except the clock tower over the bank, hands marking the hour which is already far too late. There is also something about a street sign, I think, but that's not real clear yet (and may not be anything at all, but this is all right off the cuff this morning; I'm just running with it).
Damn, I forgot how much fun this is! Curse my stupid brain, for ditching out on all this amazing stuff for so long!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-22 08:31 pm (UTC)The door doesn't slam as the young man makes his abrupt departure, but it's a near thing. At her shoulder, Watanuki is alternately grumbling about manners and clucking over the uneaten treats; he'd so hoped to get a few more bites into the starving fellow before he left. The drone is familiar, and Yuuko closes her eyes, exhales a plume of pungent smoke, feels it coil and twist as she waits...
There.
She bows her head. "The payment is accepted."
"What?" Watanuki ceases his carping and cuts her a sharp glance. "What are you talking about?"
Yuuko opens her eyes, seeing somewhere else. Somewhere cold and dark, brittle like a dead leaf, or an old book. Her smile feels like a razor cut as she weighs the fates and balances that are her stock and trade and gravest responsibility, and reflects- very privately- that sometimes she hates the fees she must demand. "Didn't you see, Watanuki-kun?" she asks him, finally letting her gaze sharpen to meet his eyes, and tasting bitterness and salt on her tongue. "Didn't you feel him leave his heart in my shop?"
There might be a little more, but I'm inclined to leave it for now. Not sure if I like the continuance, or if it's needed. Maybe as a future flashback. That could be fun. Assuming this would even work- in all my reading of xxxHolic, I don't recall if Yuuko always needed either an item or a specific change in a person's behavior as a payment, or if something a little more abstract like this would work. But. It was the knee-jerk reaction upon returning to this, and so I figured I'd put it down instead of ruminating.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-22 08:47 pm (UTC)That's not quite the case in this instance. I think this payment is a lot more subtle than I'd first imagined it to be. Because the payment is accepted here, but the payment takes a long time. In Adventures, Tezuka is still paying. But he is the one voluntarily prolonging it. Because his payment is his evolution; a journey he has to take, a life lesson he has to absorb into himself. What he isn't understanding, is that in a weird way, he wrote the terms of this. He has presumably learned his lesson by now (I'm still narrowing in on what that is; I'm sure the basement guys will come through), but he's too rational for his own good, too accustomed to black and white and no shades of gray. He can't imagine that he'd make a payment so intense, lose what he most loved as a result, and then also be permitted to have it back later. It's all mixed up in his head, because he is focusing on the wrong payment. I have to assume that at some point he does become aware of the transaction; it's the only thing that explains his intransigence in the face of Fuji's attempts to reconcile.
And apologies if this is a whole bunch of word vomit and awkward phrases and jumbled thoughts. More is tumbling out of my brain as I type, and I'm just doing my damnedest to keep up right now.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-22 09:31 pm (UTC)Point still stands about being able to move forward after learning the lesson. He can have Fuji back, if he gets out of his own way. (Does he want Fuji back? You know, in all this time, I never thought to ask him.)
I just read another snippet elsewhere- about Roy and Bucky, actually, and about Fuji in particular- which made me think of your description of him (Fuji, I mean) as someone who perceives in a way that is very like magic. In fact, you pointed out his loose kinship with Yuuko, in that they both recognize each other as being able to see what others do not. And I don't know- it just feels like a key. Like there is something in that association, in Tezuka's intentional absence from Fuji's life and his payment to Yuuko, that ties it all up.
And I'm really going to try and stop now, and wait for you to weigh in. God knows where I'll end up otherwise.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-24 05:28 am (UTC)Though I have been mulling your snippet over here and there, through the day. And the first thing I note, is that it's a very good snapshot. Just like, the framing and composition of it, those elements are so pleasing, here. It shares a strength with the Holic manga; that brevity of space and language that somehow magically condense into the powerful ineffable Mood of that universe. And a lot of that mood often feels like apprehension, but you can't put it down or back away from it, because there's also the magic and the mystery, and the eerie beauty lurking around the edges of the frame.
Anyway, the other thought I'd had--which you can take or leave, but it might be fun? Is that Yuuko most often trades in physical objects, even when the price of a wish is something ineffable. When she first started her deal with Watanuki, she began by asking him for that keepsake pocketwatch he'd carried. His first payment to her was his *time*, which first meant the hours he served her in the shop, and all those tasks of his unknowing apprenticeship. But then gradually it became all the time of his life. The metaphors Holic deals in are phenomenal, and they deeply reward the reader who dives in to study them; it's a thing I passionately love about that series, to this very day.
Getting back to this particular situation with Tezuka, I think it's potentially real interesting, that his payment isn't a tangible object. Maybe there's a reason for this exception to Yuuko's usual way of doing business? Or maybe *maybe* the object of Tezuka's price does actually find a tangible form, over time? Maybe he lends her something, which transforms during its time in her care? Like the price is actually him giving up his control over something, so that it can enter a chrysalis, out of his hands, out of his sight, and become something else. That sounds like a very fitting price for Tezuka (determined independent control freak that he is).
And now I'm thinking about it, this would be an excellent subject for a Tim Clare exercise. This is the exact kind of thing those were made for. That point he was always making in those 10 minute list exercises, about how it's much easier for your brain to deliver a bulk collection of ideas, rather than trying to force out One Perfect Thing. Sometimes you have to noodle and tinker your way toward the answer that fits what your characters & story need. Like, what is the value of Tezuka's heart? What does that include? Is it his whole capacity for love? Or his specific attachment to Fuji? Is it his vulnerability to other people?
Going back to Holic canon, when the Shop took a price from a customer, it wasn't always something they had a strong personal attachment to, but the transaction did substantially alter their fate. And oh heck, now I remember 2 instances where the price wasn't an object. Early on, there was the woman with the stiff pinky. Yuuko gave her a ring and said 1: Never take it off, and 2: Think carefully about a certain habit you might have. The woman was a habitual liar, and when she finally took the ring off, she got hit by a truck. Also there was the college teacher (substitute teacher at the high school? I forget), who came by during Shop-cleaning Day, and saw an antique scroll cannister they just had to have. Yuuko's response? Sure, they could have it. But they must never open it. But of course they opened it, and it was a fucking monkey's paw inside, and everything became terrible, then they died.
So yeah, sometimes Yuuko's price isn't a thing she takes, but something she gives you that might kill you if you use it wrong. Hmmm. Lots of possibilities to consider.
stream of thought, nothing set in stone, just trying things on...
Date: 2021-03-27 02:07 am (UTC)The idea of giving up control is interesting, but the chrysalis concept really snagged me. Mostly because I now think the chrysalis is Fuji. In order for him to thrive, Tezuka has to give him up, let him go. Let him stop being dependent upon someone else, and learn to find his own place. It becomes something like the old chestnut, 'if you love something, set it free'; if they had continued to be together, with Tezuka trying to keep both of them afloat, they were doomed.
Obviously, this isn't quite so straightforward- it's not like Tezuka is going to go home, break up with Fuji and take off. But I think that the trip to Yuuko's shop set a seed within Tezuka, and events will begin to unfold from there. I suspect there may be another visit that he makes to speak to Yuuko- he has to be aware of his transaction somehow- although that is still a little nebulous to me right now. But that would then set up his misconstruing his price as permanent, when really once the butterfly has broken free of its chrysalis, the price has been paid in full and nothing more is required of him.
I still wonder though if his own growth isn't tied in there. Maybe it's not so much about Fuji maturing, or Tezuka, but the both of them somehow. Though I'm not entirely clear how one person's wishes affect another- does that break any rules? Hmm, it's almost enough to make me dig up what manga volumes I have from the series, give it a reread. I do wish it were clearer, because whenever we get around to deciding a resolution between Fuji and Tezuka, I know how to knit all the scenes of explanation into the story proper. Grrr. I could write this, if only I could finish sorting out how this price works! And here I thought the price itself was going to be the sticky wicket.
Re: stream of thought, nothing set in stone, just trying things on...
Date: 2021-03-27 02:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 04:46 am (UTC)First off, I'm gonna need a damn wall map to keep track of all the subplots in this insane soap opera.
But what I recall about the Gangstas.....um. Ok.
1. They were definitely rivals--or attempted rivals of Ootori. They fancy themselves becoming competition, but truth is they haven't an ounce of Ootori's class, genius with business, or community-mindedness. (and Ootori is community minded, in his way. Not what you'd call a philanthropist, he's not prone to being charitable, but he maintains a certain flexible sense of civic duty. A secure, stable community is a profitable one, after all. Happy citizens and clean neighborhoods are what he's all about. Don't ask me why I'm suddenly learning all this about Ootori and nothing about these other gangsters, it's just happening, so here we are.)
2. I never did figure out why they showed up at Fuji's bakery. They've been trying to pressure him to take out a business loan, so they can get a foothold in the neighborhood? But Fuji would never in a thousand years harm Haninozuka's investment like that, doesn't make sense. Maybe he had some other brush with them, back when he was hungry and desperate, but ended up turning down whatever they offered when Haninozuka found him? And ever since, they've been trying to pressure him into some deal?
Or maybe back in the days after Tezuka took off, a mad grief-stricken Fuji went out to get drunk, found himself in a seedy back room poker game where he cleaned some guys out, then was disinclined to let them win it back. He'd burned his anger out and was just drunk & depressed and couldn't be bothered with these people anymore, not even caring whether they were offended. (spoiler: they were super offended at getting blown off by this tit)
Ugh, I don't know. All I do know, is they've got some kind of grudge, and eventually they're going to start taking it out on people close to Fuji, which is how they come to jump Arai on the night of the Christmas party, and end up getting a faceful of Roy and then Mori throwing hands. Then eventually Ootori cruises by in a long black car with a great big trunk saying, "Pardon me, but I do believe you're trespassing on my turf."
Anyway, now I'm super interested to hear about this sparring @ Haninozuka's, this sounds like a terrific blast, yes please.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 01:15 pm (UTC)I wonder if those gangsters don't simply view the bakery as a soft target, without having any idea the steel of its manager. Regular intimidation visits might wear on other shopkeepers without as much mettle as Fuji, but those shopkeepers also don't have the considerable might of both Hunny and Mori behind them. Not to mention Fuji's own wicked genius in creative problem solving.
And the sparring! You have no idea how much I wanted to arrive at this scene, way back, but never quite found the opening to it. (I think I was still trying for linear writing at that point, to tie it into the main story arc we had going. Might be over that, now.) Mostly it was because I had the most vivid mental picture of Roy and Arai, watching the fun from the sidelines, and Roy getting more and more excited because he wanted to play, too. And Ed gets the surprise of his life when he invites him to join in, because remember- Roy is not exactly human. And it's the absolute best lark Roy has been on in ages.
Oh jeez, I'm gonna bunny myself, and right as a damn busy week starts. This is how it always goes, isn't it?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-03-22 08:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-21 07:37 am (UTC)Look, I went and dug all over YT to find the most quietly pathos-laden music I could, for these two! See if this lights anything up for you:
Ben Harper, Another Lonely Day
Tom Walker, Angels
Flora Cash, You're Somebody Else
Tom Odell, Heal
Damien Rice, Older Chests