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wtf_hollowJesus, this stupid thing was a long grind to write. But hey, another couple inches worth of character development, yay.
The neighborhood cafe was quiet on Sunday afternoon, with the brunch crowd having wandered off to do whatever they did after brunch, and the few remaining staff retired to their break area to watch TV sports. As recognized members of the neighborhood, Arai and Natsume were allowed a little table toward the back, and left alone for study time.
They’d finished off the weekend homework in short order, and were quizzing each other with practice test questions, until Natsume broke off in the middle of an answer, to stare across the cafe, toward the front windows looking out on the street.
“That’s weird. Could swear I saw Morinozuka-senpai out there, a second ago.”
When they’d first come in, Arai had explained to Natsume about the plans he’d made with Morinozuka last night. Mostly to forewarn him, in case of any surprises. Now, seated with his back to the cafe entrance, Arai had to squash the powerful temptation to turn around, on the chance of seeing Senpai for himself.
“Uh. Yeah. He said he’d check the area out, first.”
“So you really think this person’s been following you at school, and around here?” said Natsume. “Seems pretty creepy.” Though he did not, Arai thought, seem terribly daunted by the idea, or even all that surprised.
“Not for sure,” said Arai. “But Senpai thought if he is, maybe it’ll be easier to talk to him around here, instead of at school.”
Natsume cast him a knowing look. “Maybe easier without Ed around?”
Arai shrugged, uncomfortable. “I’m not trying to keep anything from him. It just seemed better to see what Senpai thought, first.”
“Fair enough,” judged Natsume.
Morinozuka finally showed up, practically on cue, as soon as they’d finished off the quiz questions and closed their books. He appeared at their table like the world’s most unobtrusive genie, coat tucked in the crook of his elbow.
“Is it all right if we join you?”
That’s when Arai noticed the guy just behind him, dark hair pulled back, shoulders hunched, meekly studying the tops of his boots.
“Yeah, of course,” said Arai. Realizing just then how wide the difference could be, between anticipating something, and actually being prepared for it to happen. Natsume looked equally taken off guard, but gamely nodded along.
Their other visitor looked like he was just trying to keep as still as possible, maybe vanish into thin air by sheer willpower, until Senpai pulled out the chair next to Natsume.
“Would you like to sit here?” he quietly asked the guy. Who gave a little twitch of a nod, shuffled over and very gingerly perched himself on the edge of the chair, all without raising his head.
Since the newcomer looked like he might just disintegrate if you looked at him too hard, Arai focused on Morinozuka instead, hanging his jacket on the chair back, and calmly sitting down.
“This is James Barnes,” he told them, like all this was perfectly ordinary. “He’s a third-year at Hawthorne.”
It was very weird, meeting someone who acted like they’d been served up on the table, instead of just joining it, Arai thought. He was desperately curious to know how Morinozuka had gotten the guy here at all.
“Uh, nice to meet you, Barnes. I’m Arai, and this is my friend Natsume.”
“How’s it going,” Natsume nodded.
Barnes drew in on himself further, reminding Arai of a pillbug curling up on the sidewalk. “Hi,” he said, in the same small soft voice as last night. “I’m sorry about. Throwing that ball. The other night.”
Apparently that halting voice had the same effect on Natsume as it had on Arai the night before. He stared at Barnes with big round eyes, then turned that look toward Arai. Are you seeing this? his whole face telegraphed.
Arai nodded to indicate that yes, they were in full agreement here.
“Okay, well. I’m not mad about it,” he told Barnes. “I mean I was, at the time, but. Are you mad, Natsume?”
“No, I’m good.”
“So we’re all good, cool.” Barnes still wasn’t looking up, so Arai looked to Morinozuka for some hint about what to do next.
Still totally serene, Senpai said, “I’d suggested to Barnes outside, that we might have some lunch, here. Is there anything you’d recommend?”
Arai was momentarily distracted by the fact that not only was Morinozuka incredibly clever about handling awkward situations, he also looked really appealing in his casual weekend outfit of jeans and a soft dark blue sweater.
“Um. They make a pretty good grilled cheese,” he said.
“I think the soup’s minestrone, today,” offered Natsume. “That’s good too.”
Morinozuka stated that as their senpai, he was treating them today, and nobody had any argument about that. So in due course, the little table was covered in four hot meals with various side dishes, and the three of them who weren’t hovering like a cocked and loaded slingshot at the edge of their seat, were soon discussing the news from the Judo seminar, progress in their classes, and the prospect of semester finals coming up.
Arai noticed that Barnes, having ordered both the grilled cheese and the minestrone, was somehow managing to make both of them disappear in the brief moments when nobody was looking at him. Otherwise, he seemed to be making it very easy for everyone to forget he was there.
He couldn’t make out whether Barnes preferred it that way, or whether he was just that hesitant to join the conversation. On the off-chance it was the latter, he tried giving the guy an opening.
“So Barnes, um. Any sports teams you like at school?”
Somehow without moving a muscle, Barnes managed to transmit an aura of extreme wariness. After a long disquieting interlude, he said, “I don’t really play sports.”
It was hard to make out whether that was him shutting down the conversation, or just an awkward statement of fact. In the discomfort of the moment, Arai aimed—unwisely—to crack a joke.
“That’s a shame. You’ve got a heck of a pitching arm.”
Barnes actually winced, and Arai could’ve kicked himself. “Sorry, not trying to bust your chops about it, I’m just a wiseass.”
“I didn’t think it would. Go that hard. I just—.” Barnes made a frustrated noise and scowled up at Morinozuka, of all people. “Nobody was looking out for him. Somebody shoulda been watching his back.”
“On the soccer field?” said Arai.
“And you were bringing attention to that?” Morinozuka asked Barnes, patient and utterly unruffled.
“Somebody had to,” Barnes insisted. “You think those punks aren’t gonna retaliate, just ‘cos he’s got a couple friends, now? “
Everything got very quiet and very still, then. Arai had the impression of a storm cloud, gliding soundlessly in front of the sun. Morinozuka seemed to loom beside him, while Barnes bristled in the seat across. Even Natsume, when Arai chanced a look that way, wore a grim expression.
Morinozuka spoke in a rumble like low distant thunder. A voice that made Arai feel shivery, and only a little bit from apprehension.
“Are you aware of any specific threats made against him, right now?”
“I haven’t heard them making any definite plans, yet. But it’s just a matter of time. Once those types put a target on the little guys, it’s like taking a bone away from a dog.”
Arai was aware this was a serious situation, concerning the possibility of imminent peril for him, specifically. But he was having a hard time focusing on that, in the face of the more immediate insight he was getting about Barnes, just then.
“You’ve been there, before,” he said, without really thinking. “You’ve been a target, for those types.” Then he sat bolt upright. “Oh my god, is that why Natasha and Sam were looking for you last night?”
Barnes gave him a squinty, pained look. “Nah. Reckon they’re just checking up on me, for somebody else. Rather not deal with them just yet, though. Trying to keep a low profile, around here.”
“So they’re not....bad guys?” Arai wanted to be clear on this.
“Sam’s fine. He’s good people. Natasha?” Barnes shrugged. “She’s not real into minding her own beeswax. Got some boundary issues, there.”
This more or less fit the impression Arai had gotten, last night. “Okay, so um. Just so you know, they were asking about you, last night. Only I didn’t know what to say, so uh. I kinda told them to go talk to Hughes.”
“You what? You didn’t.” Barnes gaped at him, looking both hunted and appalled. “Maes Hughes?”
“I’m sorry, I had to distract them with something! I don’t know those people, and I didn’t know you, just that you were all freaking me out. They chased me half across town, and then you come hauling outta that alley and knock me over—”
Morinozuka turned to face him, tensed and radiating that powerful thundercloud aura. “Excuse me?”
“It was an accident, nobody got hurt,” Arai put in hurriedly. “Anyway, Hughes is already looking for you, because Ed gave him all those notes you left in my locker.”
“Aw jeez,” Barnes groaned, slumping over to rest his forehead on his folded arms.
“Yeah, sorry, we didn’t know you weren’t a serial killer or whatever, at the time. I was a little paranoid, y’know. Ed got super paranoid about it. I don’t even know what I’m gonna tell him, now. He’ll probably want to kick your ass on general principles, no matter what I say.”
Barnes’ head came up a fraction at that, revealing the sardonic and weary glint in his eye. “No offense to Elric, but I’m not showing up to that scrap, on general principles.”
Next to him, Natsume raised his hand. “Can I just say for the record, that I like this guy.”
The table server cruised by then to gather up everyone’s plates, leaving the table in a pensive quiet spell.
Eventually it was Morinozuka who spoke up, addressing Barnes. “I don’t wish to pry into anything you’d rather keep private. But whatever your reason was, for keeping a low profile, you must have been aware that you risked your own secrecy, in trying to warn Arai about the threats against him.”
“Yeah,” sighed Barnes. “Did that math, already. Didn’t count on my past trying to catch up with me at the same time, though. Just my rotten luck, I guess.”
“It was very generous of you, to take that risk for someone you don’t know. But now I’m concerned about whether you’ve compromised your own safety.”
Barnes shrugged, like he could deflect Senpai’s concern with his slouched posture and lowered head. “It’s fine. I can still manage.”
“There’s not any laws saying you have to manage by yourself, y’know,” Arai put in. “I tried that, and it sucked. It gets a lot easier, when you’ve got somebody on your side.”
“Especially when we have a common opponent,” said Morinozuka. “It works to their advantage, if everyone they target stays separated, always on the defensive. Doesn’t it make sense, to deny them that advantage, whenever possible?”
There was something ridiculously attractive, Arai thought, about hearing Morinozuka talk strategy like this. But Barnes didn’t seem to find it encouraging at all.
He hunkered down further, looking miserable, and then abruptly shoved back his chair and lurched upward. “Sorry, I um. I gotta—thanks for lunch, Senpai, but. I gotta go. Sorry.”
Before any of them could speak up, he rushed off for the back exit of the cafe, leaving them all staring after him, flabbergasted.
“Was it something we said?” Natsume asked.
Arai looked to Morinozuka “Should somebody go talk to him?”
Morinozuka frowned off toward the exit, troubled, but then shook his head. “He might need some time, to think. I expect he’ll know where to find us, if he wants to talk some more.”
The neighborhood cafe was quiet on Sunday afternoon, with the brunch crowd having wandered off to do whatever they did after brunch, and the few remaining staff retired to their break area to watch TV sports. As recognized members of the neighborhood, Arai and Natsume were allowed a little table toward the back, and left alone for study time.
They’d finished off the weekend homework in short order, and were quizzing each other with practice test questions, until Natsume broke off in the middle of an answer, to stare across the cafe, toward the front windows looking out on the street.
“That’s weird. Could swear I saw Morinozuka-senpai out there, a second ago.”
When they’d first come in, Arai had explained to Natsume about the plans he’d made with Morinozuka last night. Mostly to forewarn him, in case of any surprises. Now, seated with his back to the cafe entrance, Arai had to squash the powerful temptation to turn around, on the chance of seeing Senpai for himself.
“Uh. Yeah. He said he’d check the area out, first.”
“So you really think this person’s been following you at school, and around here?” said Natsume. “Seems pretty creepy.” Though he did not, Arai thought, seem terribly daunted by the idea, or even all that surprised.
“Not for sure,” said Arai. “But Senpai thought if he is, maybe it’ll be easier to talk to him around here, instead of at school.”
Natsume cast him a knowing look. “Maybe easier without Ed around?”
Arai shrugged, uncomfortable. “I’m not trying to keep anything from him. It just seemed better to see what Senpai thought, first.”
“Fair enough,” judged Natsume.
Morinozuka finally showed up, practically on cue, as soon as they’d finished off the quiz questions and closed their books. He appeared at their table like the world’s most unobtrusive genie, coat tucked in the crook of his elbow.
“Is it all right if we join you?”
That’s when Arai noticed the guy just behind him, dark hair pulled back, shoulders hunched, meekly studying the tops of his boots.
“Yeah, of course,” said Arai. Realizing just then how wide the difference could be, between anticipating something, and actually being prepared for it to happen. Natsume looked equally taken off guard, but gamely nodded along.
Their other visitor looked like he was just trying to keep as still as possible, maybe vanish into thin air by sheer willpower, until Senpai pulled out the chair next to Natsume.
“Would you like to sit here?” he quietly asked the guy. Who gave a little twitch of a nod, shuffled over and very gingerly perched himself on the edge of the chair, all without raising his head.
Since the newcomer looked like he might just disintegrate if you looked at him too hard, Arai focused on Morinozuka instead, hanging his jacket on the chair back, and calmly sitting down.
“This is James Barnes,” he told them, like all this was perfectly ordinary. “He’s a third-year at Hawthorne.”
It was very weird, meeting someone who acted like they’d been served up on the table, instead of just joining it, Arai thought. He was desperately curious to know how Morinozuka had gotten the guy here at all.
“Uh, nice to meet you, Barnes. I’m Arai, and this is my friend Natsume.”
“How’s it going,” Natsume nodded.
Barnes drew in on himself further, reminding Arai of a pillbug curling up on the sidewalk. “Hi,” he said, in the same small soft voice as last night. “I’m sorry about. Throwing that ball. The other night.”
Apparently that halting voice had the same effect on Natsume as it had on Arai the night before. He stared at Barnes with big round eyes, then turned that look toward Arai. Are you seeing this? his whole face telegraphed.
Arai nodded to indicate that yes, they were in full agreement here.
“Okay, well. I’m not mad about it,” he told Barnes. “I mean I was, at the time, but. Are you mad, Natsume?”
“No, I’m good.”
“So we’re all good, cool.” Barnes still wasn’t looking up, so Arai looked to Morinozuka for some hint about what to do next.
Still totally serene, Senpai said, “I’d suggested to Barnes outside, that we might have some lunch, here. Is there anything you’d recommend?”
Arai was momentarily distracted by the fact that not only was Morinozuka incredibly clever about handling awkward situations, he also looked really appealing in his casual weekend outfit of jeans and a soft dark blue sweater.
“Um. They make a pretty good grilled cheese,” he said.
“I think the soup’s minestrone, today,” offered Natsume. “That’s good too.”
Morinozuka stated that as their senpai, he was treating them today, and nobody had any argument about that. So in due course, the little table was covered in four hot meals with various side dishes, and the three of them who weren’t hovering like a cocked and loaded slingshot at the edge of their seat, were soon discussing the news from the Judo seminar, progress in their classes, and the prospect of semester finals coming up.
Arai noticed that Barnes, having ordered both the grilled cheese and the minestrone, was somehow managing to make both of them disappear in the brief moments when nobody was looking at him. Otherwise, he seemed to be making it very easy for everyone to forget he was there.
He couldn’t make out whether Barnes preferred it that way, or whether he was just that hesitant to join the conversation. On the off-chance it was the latter, he tried giving the guy an opening.
“So Barnes, um. Any sports teams you like at school?”
Somehow without moving a muscle, Barnes managed to transmit an aura of extreme wariness. After a long disquieting interlude, he said, “I don’t really play sports.”
It was hard to make out whether that was him shutting down the conversation, or just an awkward statement of fact. In the discomfort of the moment, Arai aimed—unwisely—to crack a joke.
“That’s a shame. You’ve got a heck of a pitching arm.”
Barnes actually winced, and Arai could’ve kicked himself. “Sorry, not trying to bust your chops about it, I’m just a wiseass.”
“I didn’t think it would. Go that hard. I just—.” Barnes made a frustrated noise and scowled up at Morinozuka, of all people. “Nobody was looking out for him. Somebody shoulda been watching his back.”
“On the soccer field?” said Arai.
“And you were bringing attention to that?” Morinozuka asked Barnes, patient and utterly unruffled.
“Somebody had to,” Barnes insisted. “You think those punks aren’t gonna retaliate, just ‘cos he’s got a couple friends, now? “
Everything got very quiet and very still, then. Arai had the impression of a storm cloud, gliding soundlessly in front of the sun. Morinozuka seemed to loom beside him, while Barnes bristled in the seat across. Even Natsume, when Arai chanced a look that way, wore a grim expression.
Morinozuka spoke in a rumble like low distant thunder. A voice that made Arai feel shivery, and only a little bit from apprehension.
“Are you aware of any specific threats made against him, right now?”
“I haven’t heard them making any definite plans, yet. But it’s just a matter of time. Once those types put a target on the little guys, it’s like taking a bone away from a dog.”
Arai was aware this was a serious situation, concerning the possibility of imminent peril for him, specifically. But he was having a hard time focusing on that, in the face of the more immediate insight he was getting about Barnes, just then.
“You’ve been there, before,” he said, without really thinking. “You’ve been a target, for those types.” Then he sat bolt upright. “Oh my god, is that why Natasha and Sam were looking for you last night?”
Barnes gave him a squinty, pained look. “Nah. Reckon they’re just checking up on me, for somebody else. Rather not deal with them just yet, though. Trying to keep a low profile, around here.”
“So they’re not....bad guys?” Arai wanted to be clear on this.
“Sam’s fine. He’s good people. Natasha?” Barnes shrugged. “She’s not real into minding her own beeswax. Got some boundary issues, there.”
This more or less fit the impression Arai had gotten, last night. “Okay, so um. Just so you know, they were asking about you, last night. Only I didn’t know what to say, so uh. I kinda told them to go talk to Hughes.”
“You what? You didn’t.” Barnes gaped at him, looking both hunted and appalled. “Maes Hughes?”
“I’m sorry, I had to distract them with something! I don’t know those people, and I didn’t know you, just that you were all freaking me out. They chased me half across town, and then you come hauling outta that alley and knock me over—”
Morinozuka turned to face him, tensed and radiating that powerful thundercloud aura. “Excuse me?”
“It was an accident, nobody got hurt,” Arai put in hurriedly. “Anyway, Hughes is already looking for you, because Ed gave him all those notes you left in my locker.”
“Aw jeez,” Barnes groaned, slumping over to rest his forehead on his folded arms.
“Yeah, sorry, we didn’t know you weren’t a serial killer or whatever, at the time. I was a little paranoid, y’know. Ed got super paranoid about it. I don’t even know what I’m gonna tell him, now. He’ll probably want to kick your ass on general principles, no matter what I say.”
Barnes’ head came up a fraction at that, revealing the sardonic and weary glint in his eye. “No offense to Elric, but I’m not showing up to that scrap, on general principles.”
Next to him, Natsume raised his hand. “Can I just say for the record, that I like this guy.”
The table server cruised by then to gather up everyone’s plates, leaving the table in a pensive quiet spell.
Eventually it was Morinozuka who spoke up, addressing Barnes. “I don’t wish to pry into anything you’d rather keep private. But whatever your reason was, for keeping a low profile, you must have been aware that you risked your own secrecy, in trying to warn Arai about the threats against him.”
“Yeah,” sighed Barnes. “Did that math, already. Didn’t count on my past trying to catch up with me at the same time, though. Just my rotten luck, I guess.”
“It was very generous of you, to take that risk for someone you don’t know. But now I’m concerned about whether you’ve compromised your own safety.”
Barnes shrugged, like he could deflect Senpai’s concern with his slouched posture and lowered head. “It’s fine. I can still manage.”
“There’s not any laws saying you have to manage by yourself, y’know,” Arai put in. “I tried that, and it sucked. It gets a lot easier, when you’ve got somebody on your side.”
“Especially when we have a common opponent,” said Morinozuka. “It works to their advantage, if everyone they target stays separated, always on the defensive. Doesn’t it make sense, to deny them that advantage, whenever possible?”
There was something ridiculously attractive, Arai thought, about hearing Morinozuka talk strategy like this. But Barnes didn’t seem to find it encouraging at all.
He hunkered down further, looking miserable, and then abruptly shoved back his chair and lurched upward. “Sorry, I um. I gotta—thanks for lunch, Senpai, but. I gotta go. Sorry.”
Before any of them could speak up, he rushed off for the back exit of the cafe, leaving them all staring after him, flabbergasted.
“Was it something we said?” Natsume asked.
Arai looked to Morinozuka “Should somebody go talk to him?”
Morinozuka frowned off toward the exit, troubled, but then shook his head. “He might need some time, to think. I expect he’ll know where to find us, if he wants to talk some more.”
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-12 03:33 pm (UTC)Besides the usual BS of 'which incarnation are we dealing with?' yadda yadda, it occurred to me. IF: Barnes has a metal arm. Barnes is the victim of some kind of intense and/or prolonged bullying. Barnes suffered a serious injury, resulting in coma/brain damage.... Okay, draw your own conclusions from those facts. Now...
Barnes meets Ed. With a metal arm. And a metal leg. What conclusions might Barnes then draw? What kind of response will he have to seeing evidence of a similar trauma to what he's suffered on the body of another student?
All this is coming out of me trying to get a read on this Barnes, trying to work out what's going on in his head right now. Of course, if his arm is not prosthetic, or even damaged in some manner, this changes his position entirely. That's an angle I'm still trying to work out. What fun! My rusty old brain is struggling, but enjoying the hell out of this puzzle.
Another thing I can't help but note- and I'm not certain if this is an intentional character tic, or I don't know what, but Barnes' speech is unusual. Sometimes, I think he's only about as verbal as an early-stage This, You Protect Barnes. And then a little ways down, he sounds more like a Real Boy, aw jeez and dang my luck. Then by the end, when he's spooked, he's back to stuttering and short, choppy phrasing. I can't help but think there's a clue in this, or at very least that we're witnessing a symptom. I wish I'd been able to glean more information about Barnes' background from Natasha, but she was adamant about giving up as little as possible. Girl needs to watch some Barney. Sharing is caring, Natasha!
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-12 08:12 pm (UTC)1. Aight, so Barnes' Arm. The answer to this is that dammit I can't decide! I had an idea it would come clear the more stage time I gave him* but I'm honestly still not sure. On the one hand, I reckon any time I lay trauma on a character, I'm obliged to see it through in a realistic and respectful way, give a proper accounting of their individual ongoing life experience with this thing. And at a certain point, I have to decide if that's what their story is about, if the evidence of trauma they're living with is what comprises the real estate of their story.
So in Barnes' case, I've had this notion that he's at a place where he's come to functional terms with his past tragedy and he's on the brink of being able to do positive things about it. Which makes me inclined to say that his tragedy was limited to whatever incident delivered the brain injury, coma, and a certain amount of memory loss. Adding the amputation and prosthetic arm seems a step too far, for this particular guy. It automatically demands more story real estate, which I'd rather allocate to other places (such as the huge snarling logistical problem that Mori introduces, right before Barnes skedaddled, up there)
But then here you rock up with this completely amazing idea of how he might interpret Ed's prosthetics, and how that could color their interaction, and damn that sounds like such a fun sandbox to explore, and all I can do is cackle at that huge pile of wood and fireworks with the big red gas can set next to it.
In conclusion: I still don't know!!! *wailing*. Can we have both? Limbs-intact Barnes drawing the worst conclusion from Ed's arm and leg? Gaaah.
2. okay moving on, for now. Just to clarify Barnes' characterization. He's spent a lot of time on his lonesome, up to now. Working past his tragedy, starting to think about what he wants from life. So while he's not this feral cryptid wandering around, he also hasn't built up a lot of tolerance for socialization. And he's had this tendency to catastrophize: to quickly jump to the worst possible scenario of how shit could go wrong. This earnest gutsy kid Arai starts talking about having people on his side, friendship stuff, and Morinozuka the Intimidating Judo God starts talking war strategy, and all of a sudden, Barnes cannot handle this scene. He was ready to go in and apologize, he was ready (in honor of the memory of his pal Stevie) to stick up for this earnest clueless kid before he got laminated across the school walls.
But he's emphatically not ready to lose his safe anonymity and get drafted into Morinozuka's war (which is how the thing looks, from his perspective in that moment). He has to get outta there, catch his breath, and clear his head. (And fwiw, I already know the first words he says to Morinozuka and/or Arai the next time he drops out from the ceiling tiles or whatever to have a chat with them. I was gonna get to it and resolve it in the above scene, but I needed the damn scene to fucking end, and him just scampering was an interesting way to do it, so.)
Uh, bottom line I guess, is that Barnes is real rusty with socializing, but he's working on it. He's got his motivation, and is taking the baby steps. When he hits a wall with it, he probably evacuates the situation, and he might tend to misinterpret people's motives toward Maximum Dramatic Outcomes he's learned from past experience, but that's okay.
Soooo I hope that helps, with getting a handle on him?
(*not really related, but I was just reminded about this thing Tim Clare once mentioned, about how it generally takes around 20 to 30,000 words of writing a character, to really get to know them. Granted he was talking about OCs in novels, but man, I have yet to see that proven wrong.)
[Edited on account of I'm too goddamn blind for the terrible font in these terrible text windows making it entirely too hard to accurately proofread my shit before posting.]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-13 12:34 am (UTC)*provided that logic may be run through a blender and we can fit the pony through the door
Seriously though, it's a lot more challenging to try and work with a fully armed (hah) Barnes, with the same (or similar) issues. So lemme lob this one at you, and you can see if you can't Google up the right terminology for it, since I'm betting your Google-fu is better than mine. (Hint: it for sure is.) What if Barnes doesn't wear a prosthetic, but he doesn't exactly see his arm as his own, either? My thinking goes back to his accident. He's injured pretty badly somehow, and you mentioned him having some degree of brain damage, as well being in a coma. It's possible that this could play a role (somehow; I know little about TBIs), and the physical trauma he sustained could have damaged the nerves in his arm so he doesn't feel things through it very well. Which could set up a kind of weird body dysphoria around that arm when he's having a bad days. Like, the worse the day, the worse the dysphoria. On really good days, he doesn't think about it all. But on the really bad days, the walking nightmare days where he can't talk, and can barely function? On those days, it doesn't even feel like an arm at all. It feels like some strange, foreign horror that's been grafted onto him, and on those terrible, endless days he has to fight the urge to try and tear off this thing that moves and grabs and obeys him, but isn't him.
Which again makes Ed, if not a victim in his eyes, at least an outward personification of Barnes' worst hallucinations. And all of this would *definitely* not go over well with Ed, when the new kid has an absolute panic attack and disappears for three days every time he sees (or is made to think about) the automail, not when you consider his own little red wagon full of issues.
Another question for you (because in case you forgot, I'm loaded with 'em). The Ghost notes. So, those were intended to cause the others to tighten and intensify their watch over Arai, right? Because those had seemed intended to frighten; by their wording, threat was very much implicit. Did he really think that one through? Because of all the plans he could come up with (and believe me, I get him wanting to be able to hide his identity in this, to not be involved as anything more hands-on than a spotter), this one seems to just have *so* much potential for failure or misunderstanding.
Also, just in terms of optics (at least, at a first glance) it appears to align him with the basketball creeps. And we know he's not there.
But hmm, I still want to think about Barnes some more. Like, what is he even trying to do here at Hawthorne? I mean sure, he's not going to have a lot of options when it comes to his schooling; he's still a kid, and has to follow rules and laws. But does he actually want friends at this school? Or was this intervention simply him trying to keep another poor schmuck from being a victim? Does he want to slide through this year, and the next, and hopefully not ping on anyone's radar, until he can settle into the anonymity of adult life? In other words, what is *really* driving this kid? He'll do things in Steve's memory, but avoids Steve's (their mutual?) friends. That's a whole 'nother wrinkle.
Sometimes I feel like we absolutely honeycomb these stories, mining them for every last thing we can scratch from the characters. It's kinda crazy, and awfully fun, and I don't know what it does for the storytelling, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-15 03:58 am (UTC)And it's weird, I was trying to understand why I was instinctively noping so hard out of the Barnes Arm Horror concept, and it actually took me until this afternoon in the middle of a (totally unrelated) work task, when I dropped my screwdriver, looked up and went, "Ah, that's right, you had that hugely traumatic family medical drama thing back around Thanksgiving and hey guess what, you're still real fucked up about it."
It took me 2 whole days to make that connection. Human brain shenanigans are so weird, dude.
Anyway, long story short. My big urge right now with fiction, because my brain is terrible, and the world is terrible, etc, is to focus on these imaginary people finding some avenues toward positive developments, making helpful connections with each other and doing some good in the world, etc.
So uh, like this Barnes episode for example. One thing I knew about him starting out, was that he'd imprinted on Arai as a smaller, weaker kid and Bully Magnet. And as much as he'd wanted to stay invisible in this new school, he observes that Arai's friends are not doing near enough (in his view) to deal with the target on Arai's back. So he plants those notes as a way of 1. illustrating how Arai isn't protected from anyone determined to get at him. And 2. to spook Arai and everyone around him into a higher state of constant vigilance. So far as Barnes is concerned, a 24-hour armed bodyguard would be a good start for the kid.
(Side note, maybe Arai trips a lot of the same old instincts that Barnes developed about tiny sickly Stevie Rogers back in elementary school. Or maybe he reminds Barnes of some kids he didn't help later on, at his last high school. I dunno, this is the kinda thing where I tend do leave gaps open in the scaffolding, until I see what kind of furniture the basement guys are gonna send up to me. Then I know what best serves the story.)
Now let's always keep in mind that Barnes doesn't necessarily have the most logical viewpoint on these matters. His sense of threat mitigation is not necessarily that tethered to a realistic, proportional response to situations. (Also he didn't really think the note thing all the way through to a logical end, nor account for Ed Elric in his plans. Barnes means well, but his strategies are imperfectly informed.)
And I'm not totally certain yet, where Barnes' wonky threat response comes from. But it seems like one factor, could well be that he feels like he was somehow complicit in whatever his bad old sports team got up to. He feels like he didn't do enough about their thuggery when he should have (or it was too little, too late, then he got conked on the head real bad), and now he's trying--in a clumsy weird fashion--to atone for that.
Which leads to why he isn't yet ready to deal with Steve or Steve's friends. That residual guilt from his past is telling him he hasn't earned any happy reunion with Steve yet, that he doesn't deserve the friendship of good people, not until he makes some things right first, yadda yadda. Once the Hawthorne Basketball Mafia is taken down, then he feels like maybe he can look his old pals in the eye again. This same self-esteem situation probably makes it hard for him to look at people like Morinozuka and Arai for very long, because they both have these solid moral centers, and a certain faith in the decency of their fellow man (a lot like Steve, come to think of it), and that can be difficult for ordinary schmucks with ordinary human weaknesses to face head-on.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-15 07:19 am (UTC)(Fair warning, I've gotten real interested in learning how to work with unreliable narrators, lately.)
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-15 12:38 pm (UTC)In some ways, that's probably better anyway. It's a lot more difficult to come up with a realistic backstory for a character from an established canon; taking the easy way out by falling into established fanon patterns is actually a bit of a pet peeve in some instances, just because it gets so damned predictable. Much better, when a different path is set upon- let's see what would happen if this awful thing *didn't* occur, or if they'd dodged this particular bullet. They still start from the same place, but end up somewhere vastly different.
(That's actually something that was illustrated pretty neatly by a webcomic I followed- it finally ended last month- called All-Night Laundry. It plays a lot with time travel, as well as different iterations of the same day and of the same character. And Bina, in the course of the story, meets nearly all the other versions of herself, in all the other versions of that day, because they are all working on the same problem but approaching it through different means. It's pretty wild, but I won't get into the weeds explaining it here; you get the point.)
Anyhoo, this is still a pretty nifty little puzzle to unpack. And one thing that pinged out at me initially, as I read your reply this morning, is that maybe Hawthorne isn't the first school Barnes has attended since his accident. Maybe he's been shifted around more than once. And maybe this latest move was precipitated by whatever is spurring this protectiveness in him, now. Just a thought; I'm not sold on it yet. But it's fun to turn over.
But yeah, Barnes' responses are way off, and it makes me wish I knew enough about brain injury to have some sense of what might cause such off-kilter reactions. Is there even a specific thing? Or would it just be, "Shit, son, you rang your bell but good; of course it's gonna take some time for the vibrations to stop"? Probably a little from column A, and a whole lot from column B. When we finally find our OSD and he sets us up with a Mad House, we need to get some specialists on staff so we can pick their brains when we need answers like this.
But atonement seems to remain a fixture in this Barnes, as with canon Barnes. Good to know.
Oh shoot, just realized something. I've been assuming all along that Barnes' Big Injury came during his intervention on someone's behalf, but then I made that comment about him moving schools several times, implying that he'd witnessed something at his previous school (which would not be the one where he sustained his Injury, and cause him to be withdrawn from Steve's school) that precipitated his Ghost situation, and now I'm confused. I've done it to myself, to be sure, but still- this is why I try not to go too deep first thing in the morning, but it *is* an awfully good time to just let my mind run without restraint. This sort of paradox is just one of the pitfalls. Ah well, that's what the Afternoon Think is for- to sort out the Morning Mess of Random.
Yeah, speaking of running without restraint, probably not the best time to be replying, huh? ;) You're getting the full-on ramble from me in this comment box. Sorry, I'll settle down now. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-15 07:57 pm (UTC)So first Barnes expects to get murdered by this huge severe-looking guy. Then he expects--on following Morinozuka into the cafe, that maybe Morinozuka just wants to pull his limbs off one-by-one in front of his boyfriend. Or at best, read him the Riot Act.
Only none of that happens. So Barnes is totally off-balance and also feeling a certain amount of contrition over the stalking and creepiness, and also realizing his original plan was shit and just fell apart in front of him. On top of all that, it turns out these people are really decent. And worried about him??? It's too much, it's too fucking weird, he's having way too many feelings right now, so he's got to bolt and re-think a whole bunch of stuff.
On a totally unrelated note, bc this hilarious idea just made me drop my screwdriver again: what if we throw in a situation where Hughes is about to fall victim to some variation on his FMA phone booth assassination, except that out of nowhere, Natasha shows up to rescue him. I dunno how or when or why this happens, just that it's an awesome scene.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-25 05:51 am (UTC)https://66.media.tumblr.com/956acf4f578ef21cba8ad008139ff380/tumblr_pweeqhSnKf1wprgtyo1_r1_1280.jpg
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-25 03:44 pm (UTC)Yeah, this thing's a great jumping off point!